Monday, February 13, 2012

Matters of the Heart

Not everyone is a fan of Valentine’s Day. Some who speak out against it feel that love should be shown and felt every day of the year (why single out a particular day?). I understand their sentiment, and I agree love should be shown daily, but I’m also of the opinion, why not single out a particular day to celebrate love? There are far worse things to celebrate.
Having said that, there are also those who find Valentine's Day difficult because a) they've been deeply hurt in past relationships, b) they've never been in love, c) they've never felt loved by anyone, or d) they aren't even sure what love is. I am sympathetic to such reasoning, and I've certainly been in that first category. As for that last one, apparently there are quite a few who share the same feelings. In early 1985, the song at the top of U.S. and UK charts was a haunting ballad entitled, "I Want To Know What Love Is," by Foreigner. It struck a chord and remains a popular song, 27 years later.
So, what is love?
I'm afraid the answer to that is complex, at best, but if I had one wish for every person it would be that he or she would discover what it means to love, at least once, with a love bold enough to lay it all on the line, daring enough to risk rejection, fiery enough to break down walls and defenses, brave enough to leave yourself open and vulnerable, and honest enough to say what you feel without wavering.
But be prepared. Loving in such a way is fraught with risks. Sometimes it may seem as if your chest has been cut open and your heart ripped out. It can lodge a pain in the pit of your stomach, with no warning or explanation. It can leave you crying in the dark, for reasons you don’t fully understand. What’s the old song? “Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and mars any heart not tough or strong enough to take a lot of pain.” Loving deeply is only for strong hearts. The more you love, the greater the potential to be hurt. But what have you gained if you haven’t loved at least one other human being in this way? I can’t imagine never knowing the kind of love that can wring you out and leave you weak, that can make minutes on a clock seem like an eternity.

Not everyone chooses to love without reservations. They shield their hearts, and put up barricades. Anything to keep from getting burned by the flames of love. They spend their entire lives in superficial and surface relationships. 

What they may not realize is that unless they open themselves up fully to love—to the possibility of being heartbroken and torn asunder—they can neither love, nor be loved, completely. It just isn't possible. To paraphrase C. S. Lewis, guarded hearts will never be broken, because they will become “unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
Loving anyone will always be risky. It could go either way. Harry Nilsson verbalizes this so well when he sings the lyrics, "Maybe I'll win and maybe I'll lose. Maybe I'm in for crying the blues." He's right, you know. Matters of the heart are seldom simple, or without anguish.
Sometimes you lose in the game of love. I dare say we all have experienced a lost love at some point in our lives, when we thought we would die of heartbreak, but I think I understand what Lord Tennyson meant when he wrote, “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Whether you win or lose, love's value cannot be diminished. And should you never love again, one day you can at least look back and say, “I loved someone completely … once upon a time.”
So, as you make your way into Valentine’s Day this week, and into the coming months, if you find love, or if love finds you, embrace it with your whole heart, for it may never come again.
To read our love story
(that spans three decades), click here.

Love is a power unto itself.
It cannot be bottled for study or manipulated for experimentation.
It simply washes over you and leaves you breathless.
~ Billy Coffey

Thanks, Anita, for inviting me to link this post to the awesome new blog party.


  1. Hello Dayle,
    Beautiful post...I love what you have written about love and being in love.
    Happy Valentine's Day
    God Bless
    Barb from Australia

  2. Beautifully written, Dayle, with thoughts worth considering. Love sure is a deep subject. No wonder so many poems and songs have been prompted and inspired by it!

  3. Much truth in what you write here. It takes a lot of pain to know the good stuff.

  4. Heavy stuff here, but good. Thankful to be happily in love! Happy V-day!

  5. Happy Valentine's Day! You've written a wonderful post again.

  6. Dayle, I think love is a state of mind and everythings flows from that.

    Happy, happy day to you!


  7. Mmmm. post.

    Happy Valentine's Eve to ye.

  8. This is a wonderful post. Why not link this up for Cowgirl Up? It doesn't have to be a new post either; you can link up an old one if you like. I think love is worth the risk.

    1. Anita, thanks for the invite. I will do that.

  9. Loved the post. I'm surprise by the number of ladies who now say they think Valentine's Day is cheesy. I still love it too!

  10. Hi Dayle,

    Oh I really enjoyed this post!!! I agreed with everything you wrote! Sure, I don't care for having to spend more money just on some fancy dinner one day out of the year, etc., etc. - but I do like to celebrate that "day of love." It doesn't have to be fancy - anything will do, really! So to that, I say Happy Vday to all!!! And I certainly can understand why others may not liken to February 14th due to the reasons that you posted, and I do sympathize as I've had my heart broken at one time or another....but I do get excited over February 14th (even when I don't have anything planned)! :) Oh and those quotes are right on the dot!!! Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day!


  11. This is wonderful. Of course, you had me singing bits and pieces from song to song to song as you progressed. You should have heard me on "Love Hurts".

    oooh ooh ooh ooh Love hurrrrrts.

    I agree with your sentiments, and I say a big AMEN to the last line.

    1. I would love to have heard that, Debbie.

  12. Perfectly expressed .... I can identify on so many levels!
    Not so coincidental, but this brings to mind a favorite Whitney Houston lyric, “The ride with you was worth the fall ....”

  13. Awwww, that was a nice post, Dayle. Love is all we have, right?

    Thanks for your visit and comment on my blog. Loved having you stop by. Susan p.s. And Happy Valentine's Day!

  14. Hi Dayle,
    Every love matters, thought. Love is much greater than what we feel romantically, I believe, and If we remind ourselves of it more often, there is always someone or something somewhere to love . Valentine's Day could be a celebration , a day focused on what we love as who we love , how we love...
    Wishing you a lovely Valentine's Day !

  15. There are some wonderful thoughts here. Thanks so much for letting me know you came by!

  16. It's such a blessing to be married to someone that you love with all of your heart...and it is returned! Happy Valentine's day to you and your sweet hubby! ♥

  17. Thanks for sharing at cowgirl up!! So glad to have a well-written post like yours.

  18. Hi!Dayle nice piece. Its way past V-day, but I just happen to stumble on your article.



Dear Readers, I adore your company and your comments. If you ask questions here, I respond to them here, so please check back when you have a chance. Kind regards, Dayle