Monday, November 16, 2015

The Weight of a Grudge ~ Monday Musings

There is none more unhappy than the one who carries a grudge. One can smile all the day long, appearing to live a happy life, but when night has fallen, and the lights go out, the grudge is still there, burdensome and tiring, demanding the very last ounce of emotional energy one has to give.

When one holds a grudge, it is apparent in everything one says and one does. Even on occasions that should be festive, it is always obvious who’s carrying a grudge—it is the one whose words bear a trace of bitterness, whose laugh isn’t quite jolly, whose eye contact is brief.

No matter how hard one tries to fool the people, a grudge can always be seen. When Facebook statuses appear to lash out at the world, in general, underneath it all lies a personal grudge. The grudge carriers are the ones who seem to take pride in cutting others down.

In my lifetime, I've experienced people who treated me poorly—rude, disrespectful, abusive, uncaring, and the list goes on. I could choose to carry a grudge against those who've done me wrong. But as my wise mother used to say, put such offenses in a trash bag, tie it up, and take it to the curb. In other words: Let it go. It will only stink more if you don't.

It was the Apostle Paul who wrote: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:17). Paul’s words, “as far as it depends on you,” indicate that each person is required to attempt to live peaceably with others.

The price of a grudge is steep, affecting generations to come. I've often wondered why people make life harder than it has to be. How much easier, happier, and simpler life would be if one chose to let go of grudges, to lay down the sword, to make peace.



  1. What a sad way to live when someone doesn't choose to forgive and let things go. Truthful words here, my friend.

  2. My mama often said the same thing. Wise women! The past few years with family estranged from me, the Lord has spoken to me and said, "You do not have to fight this battle. Stand still and see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today." Sure takes a load off when we let HIM handle it.

  3. Yes, I've known a few of those 'carriers' myself. Love your mom's advice about leaving trash at the curb!

  4. I'm dealing with this with a family member right now. Not knowing how to proceed I'm just praying God will open her eyes to the destruction unforgiveness and bitterness is causing in her own life. Timely.

  5. Dayle, true words that you have penned! If we would only realize the poison that a grudge carries! Thanks for sharing words we all need to be reminded of! Blessings, Pam (


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